Alfonso Graziano

So, you’ve heard people say, “You should go to tech events — it’s great for your career!”

And maybe your first thought was:

“Cool, but do I have to talk to people?”

Fair.

If the idea of showing up at a conference, making small talk, or introducing yourself to a stranger makes you want to crawl back into your code editor — don’t worry. You're not alone.

But here's the truth: showing up in person can open doors you didn’t even know existed.

Let’s break it down, but first I want to tell you a personal story.

I was in a major cloud provider conference in Naples a few years ago. I was surrounded by smart people. I enjoyed a lot the talks, but then we had a moment of networking.

Everyone was talking with other people. I started sweating. I can clearly remember a voice in my head saying “I want to go home, why am I even here? I don’t know how to talk to these people…”.

At some point, I took courage, I went near some folks that were talking about Lambda, and I started to talk with them. After a few seconds of embarrassment, everything was fine and I had a very fun day.

This is what I’d like to tell you, but it went differently.

I didn’t say even one word to the people in the room. I didn’t do any networking. At some point I was so scared of talking to others that I called my girlfriend. I just wanted to talk with her to relax a bit. I was feeling a lot of social stress and I started to eat a lot of finger food (which by the way, was delicious).

At the end of that day, I felt defeated. The event has been super interesting, I learned a few cool things, but somehow I didn’t talk with new folks and the entire experience has been ruined by being psychologically blocked.

If you ever felt something like this, you’ll find a bunch of useful tips & tricks in the upcoming paragraphs. Let’s continue the reading ;)

We’re not here to sell you on networking just because “it’s good for your career.” Let’s talk about return on investment (ROI) — the real, practical benefits of going to meetups and conferences.

1. Career connections (yes, even better than LinkedIn)

You meet people who might recommend you for your next job.

You get to know folks who can introduce you to companies, opportunities, and communities.

People remember faces and conversations way more than random profile pics.

2. Learning that doesn’t feel like homework

Talks from real people solving real problems.

Q&A sessions where someone finally asks the question you were afraid to.

Workshops where you actually do things (and mess up in a safe space).

3. Fresh Inspiration and motivation

Hanging around other builders gives you ideas.

You get out of your own bubble and see what’s happening in the wider tech world.

You might even get excited about your work again — wild, right?

4. Fun, food, and free stuff

Let’s be honest: the stickers, snacks, and swag are part of the charm.

Plus, you often get to explore a new city, grab dinner with new friends, or find the best after-party with surprise karaoke.

Okay, now you're (maybe) convinced. But where do you even start?

My suggestion is to start small. Local meetups are way less intimidating than international conferences.

You can start by looking on Eventbrite, Meetup and even X (Twitter) and Linkedin. There are a lot of communities with multiple chapters. Some examples are the Google Developer Groups: https://gdg.community.dev/chapters/ or the AWS User Groups: https://aws.amazon.com/developer/community/usergroups/

There are also a lot of directories of tech events. One example is https://dev.events/.

If you want to join a meetup and you’re scared, you can just write on social media to one of the organizers a simple message like ”Hey! I saw this event, looks interesting! I’d like to join, can you give me more info?” or something like that.

Here’s the secret no one tells you: most people at these events are just as awkward as you.

So lower the pressure. You’re not pitching a startup on Shark Tank.

A few simple tips:

Start with questions ⇒ “Hey, what brought you here?” works every time.

Hang out at coffee spots or lunch tables — easiest places to chat.

Go to group activities or side events — shared experience = easier conversation.

Volunteer! It's like having a backstage pass and a reason to talk to everyone. (seriously, you just need to ask “How can I help?”, people always need help to organize tech conferences)

Also: you don’t have to be the life of the party. If you have one good conversation, that’s already a win.

Here’s the thing — when people meet you in person, something shifts. You're no longer just a Slack icon or a random GitHub username. You become a real human they’ve shared a laugh with, had a good chat over coffee, or stood next to during a confusing workshop exercise. That kind of in-person connection builds a level of trust and familiarity that’s hard to replicate online.

From my experience, every time I’ve had a real, meaningful conversation with someone at an event, we ended up staying in touch somehow. Sometimes we bumped into each other at another conference, sometimes we caught up over a coffee, and in a few cases... we even ended up as coworkers. These small moments add up — they’re the seeds of future opportunities.

When people know you, they think of you. That might mean reaching out for a project, recommending you for a role, or inviting you to speak or collaborate. It’s not about being the loudest person in the room — it’s about being remembered for who you are and the value you bring. Visibility plus trust? That’s a career superpower.

Conferences are great, but being part of a tech community gives you something even better: consistency.

Instead of one weekend of inspiration and caffeine overload, you get an ongoing space to connect, learn, and grow with others who share your interests (and your debugging pains).

Joining a community — whether it’s local or online — means surrounding yourself with people who are also curious, learning, and building cool stuff. And here's the fun part: everyone’s at different stages. You might learn from someone who’s been doing this for years, and in the same conversation, help someone who just started. That kind of mutual support is gold.

Communities can give you:

A safe place to ask “dumb” questions (which usually aren’t dumb at all)

Access to job opportunities that never make it to job boards

Mentors, collaborators, and maybe even new friends

A space to try ideas, share stories, and feel a little less alone in the code jungle

If you’ve learned something cool or built a small project you’re proud of, don’t keep it to yourself! One of the best ways to grow — and get visible — is to share what you know.

You don’t have to start with a big conference keynote. Many meetups and community events have slots for lightning talks — short, 5-to-10 minute talks where you can share an idea, demo something, or just tell a story.

It's low pressure. You get a small, friendly audience. And it’s a great way to practice public speaking in a safe space, get feedback on your idea and discover that people actually care about what you have to say. You can see that as your test/dev environment. You can be wrong, you can be vulnerable, and you can learn a lot.

Sometimes a lightning talk is just that — a fun one-time thing. But sometimes… it grows. You realize, hey, I could turn this into a real tech talk. And just like that, you're not only part of the community — you're helping lead it.

Alright, real talk: going to conferences isn’t always cheap. Local meetups? Usually free — and super chill. They’re often in the evenings or on weekends, so the time commitment is low. You can pop in after work, grab a slice of pizza, learn something new, and head home.

But full-on conferences? That’s a bigger investment.

Ticket prices can start around $30 for smaller events, but the big ones? Easily a few hundred — sometimes over a thousand. And that’s not counting travel, accommodation, or the fact that you might need to take a few days off from work.

Here’s the good news: many companies offer a training budget or learning days specifically for this kind of thing. Some even have clear policies for attending conferences — either to grow your skills, represent the company, or just stay in touch with the tech world.

If you're not sure, ask your People team (or HR, or whoever handles that kind of stuff). And if there’s no policy yet? Maybe it’s time to suggest one. It’s a win-win: you grow, you get inspired, and the company benefits from more connected, motivated engineers. Plus, it’s a nice perk that can help with retention and team happiness — and who doesn’t want that?

I should stop this chapter here, but I want to add a personal reflection based on my experience.

I’ve always worked fully remote, and I live in a small town — around 20,000 people. Never lived in a big city. For years, I was happy with my remote setup: good coffee, comfy hoodie, no commute. But after a while, something started to feel... off.

I couldn’t quite name it at first, but I realized I was feeling a bit disconnected — like I was missing a piece of the bigger picture. That’s when I started joining tech communities and going to events.

And wow — that changed everything.

At first, it was just curiosity. But after a few meetups and conferences, I noticed something unexpected: I started seeing the same people again and again. Suddenly, there were friendly faces in the crowd. Coffee breaks turned into real conversations. I wasn’t just attending — I was reconnecting with the human side of tech.

Being part of a community — in person — helped me regain my energy and passion for this work. It reminded me that behind every repo, there’s a real person building something. And that being part of that bigger story is incredibly motivating.

If you’re feeling a bit isolated or stuck, I get it. And I honestly recommend giving this a try.

You might just find your people out there.

And to the wonderful people I’ve met — and keep running into — at conferences: if you’re reading this, thank you.

You bring warmth, laughter, and genuinely good vibes every time. I won’t name names (you know who you are), but just know that you’ve made these experiences truly special.

Making Friends in the wild: Conferences, Meetups & Communities